“Why was the husband’s car covered in snow?” “He forgot to close the windows when he left it outside during a snowstorm.” The wife chuckled as she watched her husband frantically brush the snow off his car on a cold winter morning. “Well, at least you’ll have a cool story to tell at work today,” she quipped. The husband rolled his eyes and grumbled, “Yeah, because nothing says ‘cool’ like being the butt of everyone’s jokes.”
“Why did the wife always carry a ladder in her car?” “In case she needed to climb over her husband’s ego.” The husband laughed at his wife’s quick wit as he watched her struggle to fit the ladder into the trunk of her car. “Well, at least I know where to find you if I ever need a boost in self-confidence,” he joked. The wife chuckled and replied, “Just be careful not to fall off, okay? I can’t have you breaking any more bones.”
“Why did the husband always carry a map in his car?” “In case he got lost in his own excuses.” The wife couldn’t help but laugh as her husband rummaged through the glove compartment, searching for the map he swore he had packed. “I don’t know how you always manage to get lost in your own lies,” she chuckled. The husband chuckled sheepishly and admitted, “It’s a talent, I guess.”
“Why did the wife go to the hardware store every Saturday morning?” “To get away from her husband’s DIY disasters.” The husband laughed as he watched his wife grab her coat and head out the door. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to stay out of your way today,” he called out. The wife smiled and replied, “It’s not just for today, honey. It’s for every Saturday.”
“Why did the husband start wearing glasses?” “So he could pretend to be looking at something other than his phone when his wife caught him checking out other women.” The wife couldn’t help but burst out laughing as she caught her husband trying to sneak a peek at a pretty woman walking by. “Honey, I can see right through your little act,” she chuckled. The husband blushed and admitted, “Well, it was worth a shot.”
“A husband and wife were in bed when the husband suddenly sat up and said, ‘I just had a great idea for a new business.’ The wife replied, ‘Can it wait until morning? I’m trying to sleep.’ The husband said, ‘No, it’s too good of an idea. I have to write it down right now.’ The wife sighed and said, ‘Fine, but can you at least do it quietly?’ The husband replied, ‘Of course, I’ll just whisper it into my pillow.’
“A husband and wife were on a road trip when the husband suddenly pulled over to the side of the road. The wife asked, ‘What are you doing?’ The husband replied, ‘I’m going to change the oil in the car.’ The wife asked, ‘But why are you doing it on the side of the road?’ The husband replied, ‘Because the instructions on the back of the oil bottle say to do it on level ground.’
“A husband and wife were at the movies when the husband suddenly leaned over and whispered in his wife’s ear, ‘I have to go to the bathroom. Can you save my seat?’ The wife replied, ‘Sure, but how will you find me in the dark?’ The husband said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll just follow the trail of popcorn and soda you always spill.’
“A husband and wife were sitting on the couch when the husband suddenly said, ‘I have a great idea for a new invention.’ The wife asked, ‘What is it?’ The husband replied, ‘It’s a refrigerator that reminds you to buy milk when you’re running low.’ The wife said, ‘But that’s already been invented. It’s called a grocery list.’
“A husband and wife were out for a walk when the husband suddenly stopped and said, ‘I think I left the stove on.’ The wife replied, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll just call the house and ask the answering machine to turn it off.’ The husband said, ‘But what if the answering machine is on fire too?’ The wife said, ‘Then we’ll have to call the fire department and ask them to turn it off.’
